Lil Wayne’s “Get Out of Jail Free” Card

“He probably has a bad tooth, a tooth that’s abscessed,” Dr. Rudd explained to MTV News

When I heard this, you know I had to say something. Some hip hop artist kill me with the “hard” image they portray and then they pull b****h moves like this. You’ve got to be kidding me. You get a temporary “get out of jail free” card because you got an issue with your tooth?!? Dude, man up!!! Have you looked at yourself in the the mirror?!? You got bigger issues than a damn tooth!! And by the way, when did Wayne become the Colgate kid for good dental health, when he got the gold in his mouth?!?

According to BET.com here is a quote from Lil Wayne that may have been taken around early 2009:

Lil’ Wayne has confessed he has a serious addiction – to anything sweet. In fact, he says his teeth are so jacked up that he has to hide them with a permanent grill that doesn’t come out. Wayne, whose teeth have pretty much rotted away, says, “I like Skittles and Starburst, but I have bad teeth due to too much candy.”

Ain’t dat a b*******!!!!  So while you’re “tasting the rainbow” and storing Skittles like a little black leprechaun, you just happen to find you got a bad tooth?!? Man, please!!! Well regardless of the circumstances, Wayne will still have to face the big house on March 2nd. I saw a video on MTV.com not too long ago about “what he can expect in jail” and I figured I’d make my own personal list:

1. I know you’d “rather be pushing flowers” but please know you will be sharing a lot of showers. So in light of that please -  whatever you do, don’t pick up the soap. Leave that bastard on the floor otherwise your next remix song will be Luda’s “How Low”.

2. Sagging, skinny jeans my not be the fashion statement you wanna make in the  pen. I really don’t think “Pants on the Ground” will be a wise choice. You might wanna check out some other options from “CYA” Designs (slogan – We Cover All Your Assets)!

3. You may wanna change your name. “Lil Wayne” don’t sound too good. Get a big dude’s name like “Big Leroy”, “Diesel”, “Big Debo” or “Bosco”. Stay away from names like “Huggy Wayne”, “Lil Wayne”, or “Shawty Wayne”. Otherwise you might become  Big Debo’s girlfriend.

4. In this entire process you may wanna just find Jesus so you don’t get in this situation again. The doors of the church are always open. However, if that’s not the path you want, you may wanna get a better lawyer. I hear R. Kelly’s lawyer is available.

5. And last but not least, don’t let this be you…..remember what happened with that Birdman kiss…..

Scene from “Money Talks” courtesy of New Line Cinema